Thursday, December 13, 2007

And Now, It's Tomorrow

So. I made it through yesterday. It was a very emotional day, full of thoughts of...what if? What if I left PA 1/2 hour later, it wouldn't have been my Mom's birthday, perhaps she wouldn't have been with me. If only I stayed over another night?...and Why did it happen to me?? But those thoughts will go unfinished, there is no turning back, there is no answer to "Why?" At least none that are evident. Perhaps, just the gift of another day to live is evidence enough.
Thank you all for all the kind words and insightful messages in your comments left for me. They helped, more than you know. Some of you shared your own struggles with me, and my healing thoughts are with you. I tried to email or comment on your blogs if I couldn't link in email, my thanks. I am astounded by the caring that this knitting/crocheting blogland community has for people, most of us only knowing each other through here.
Now. I could go on and blog about what I remember of this day, the next day, 3 years ago. But I won't, except for one humorous thing...I remember my (step)sister asking me if I were pregnant...with the sound of alarm in her voice. It seems, through a morphine haze, I kept telling her I was going to have an amnio, and I had to sign a DNR, because there could be complications. (Pam is my "next of kin" and took charge immediately when notified of my accident) She kept saying, are you sure? I said, yes, I'm having an amnio. She left to find someone to ask what was going on and came back, relieved, to tell me I was having an angiogram done. Apparently when a 3-ton truck sits on your car your heart could get hurt. I knew it was my heart..not a fetus that was being tested. The words just got mixed up in my mind. Angio...amnio...my morphine clouded brain didn't know the difference. ;-)
OK. Enough. It's tomorrow. A new day. On to the future. Or the present. Right now, I think a session of retail therapy is in order. I think I need to indulge myself with some precious-price-is-no-object-no-particular-project-in-mind-fiberlicious-goodness. Any suggestions????


6 comments:

km said...

If price truely doesn't matter, then you should try the swarovski yarns. http://www.artbeads.com/swarovski-crystal-yarn-cashmere.html I saw this first in Vogue Knitting Fall 2007 (25th anniversary issue). I've seen patterns for knitted jewelry. That might be fun.

But less expensive than that...I've just bought some yummy yarns that weren't too cheap. I went with things I saw on other blogs. I got some Araucania Nature Wool in Chunky Multy. These colors make me happy. I think I might try a hat tonight. And I got some Manos del Uruguay. Not sure what that will be yet. I love that this yarn brings economic opportunities to rural woman.

Oh, and STR is all that! I bought a skein of that too...to become a scarf. And I just finished some fingerless mitts from the LR's One Skein book...with KPPPM...ooooh that's soft and squishy.

Dianne said...

Amnio - angio - hehehe! It's great to be able to laugh about some of it. As far as luxury yarn, I would go for KPPPM or STR or Cherry Tree Hill...can you tell the only thing I knit is socks? Go ahead and have a shopping spree. You deserve it!

Channon said...

Go visit NH Knitting Mama's etsy store, or Alabama Fiber Dreams. They are more expensive yarns, but both of these ladies (friends of mine, yes) have soft, luscious yarn, and they'll custom-dye for you too.

The Loopy Ewe has some new yummy yarns too, but I don't have any handy at the moment...

And yes, five minutes either way could have made a difference, but you know as well as I do woulda/shoulda/coulda doesn't help...

Cycling Knitter said...

Babe,you just do what makes you happy...
celebrate life...
Do what makes you feel good.
today is the start of the rest of your life!!!
a word of warning
the material goods you want today, are not what you will want this time next year!!
Knitting though has been my saving grace,I will always want yarn!!!

ps/ knitting mamas yarns are lush!!

NH Knitting Mama said...

I can always suggest something of the yarn variety(wink and smile)...
Seriously... I am praying for you to continue to find peace with all you have been through. You made it through that incident for a reason - and maybe you don't know all of the why's yet, but someday you will. I suspect your Mom was smiling on you.

vegasangelbrat said...

Seems evident that it just wasn't "your" time....enjoy life, no matter what, we really do have lots to be Thankful for..as far as fiber shopping...I wish I had someplace to send you too..lol Have fun with everyone suggestions!