So. I made it through yesterday. It was a very emotional day, full of thoughts of...what if? What if I left PA 1/2 hour later, it wouldn't have been my Mom's birthday, perhaps she wouldn't have been with me. If only I stayed over another night?...and Why did it happen to me?? But those thoughts will go unfinished, there is no turning back, there is no answer to "Why?" At least none that are evident. Perhaps, just the gift of another day to live is evidence enough.
Thank you all for all the kind words and insightful messages in your comments left for me. They helped, more than you know. Some of you shared your own struggles with me, and my healing thoughts are with you. I tried to email or comment on your blogs if I couldn't link in email, my thanks. I am astounded by the caring that this knitting/crocheting blogland community has for people, most of us only knowing each other through here.
Now. I could go on and blog about what I remember of this day, the next day, 3 years ago. But I won't, except for one humorous thing...I remember my (step)sister asking me if I were pregnant...with the sound of alarm in her voice. It seems, through a morphine haze, I kept telling her I was going to have an amnio, and I had to sign a DNR, because there could be complications. (Pam is my "next of kin" and took charge immediately when notified of my accident) She kept saying, are you sure? I said, yes, I'm having an amnio. She left to find someone to ask what was going on and came back, relieved, to tell me I was having an angiogram done. Apparently when a 3-ton truck sits on your car your heart could get hurt. I knew it was my heart..not a fetus that was being tested. The words just got mixed up in my mind. Angio...amnio...my morphine clouded brain didn't know the difference. ;-)
OK. Enough. It's tomorrow. A new day. On to the future. Or the present. Right now, I think a session of retail therapy is in order. I think I need to indulge myself with some precious-price-is-no-object-no-particular-project-in-mind-fiberlicious-goodness. Any suggestions????